A client told me my headlines were too "salesy" last summer

I was doing a social media campaign for a local bakery here in Dayton. They wanted to push their new gluten free line hard. My first batch of ads had all these big promises like "best gluten free muffin you will ever eat." The owner called me out and said it sounded like I was yelling at people. She told me to just describe the texture and ingredients instead. So I rewrote everything to things like "almond flour base, baked fresh at 6 AM." Engagement went up like 40 percent over the next two months. Has anyone else had a client give feedback that felt harsh at first but turned out to be spot on?

3 comments

3 Comments

stellachen20d ago

The bakery owner basically did me a huge favor calling me out like that. I had a client tell me my emails sounded "desperate" once and I was so mad for like a week until I realized they were completely right and my open rates doubled after I cooled off and fixed them.

the_wren20d ago

That feedback probably stung but she actually saved you from a bigger problem down the road. Getting called out early on something like that beats having a whole campaign flop without knowing why. Your redescribe trick with the baking time and ingredients is a solid lesson in letting the product speak for itself instead of shouting over it.

scott.jana20d ago

Four weeks into my first freelance project I got a similar wake-up call from a client who basically told me my copy sounded like I was trying too hard. @the_wren your point about her saving you from a bigger mess is spot on. That kind of early feedback feels like a punch to the gut in the moment, but looking back I can see how it forced me to get real about what the product actually did instead of hyping up nonsense. The redescribe trick with the baking time is a perfect example of letting the work speak for itself. Wish I had that kind of clarity back then for sure.