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My old art director in Chicago told me my headlines were 'too clever by half' and I've been rewriting them ever since
I was pretty proud of this one campaign for a local hardware store back in 2021, I had these little puns and double meanings stacked up in every headline. My art director, this guy named Ray who'd been in the business since the 80s, pulled me aside after the client meeting and just said 'nobody talks like that, you're writing for other copywriters not for people buying paint.' It stung at the time, I won't lie, I had my whole identity wrapped up in being the wordy guy. So I started doing this thing where I read every headline out loud and ask myself if I'd say it to a friend at a bar. First month I probably killed 60% of my own drafts, which felt terrible. But then we tested both styles for a roof repair company and the plain version got 3x the calls. Now I write the clever one first just to get it out of my system, then I ask 'what would Ray say' and cut it down to something a real person would actually read.
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the_derek12d ago
Ray gave you the best advice and he probably saved your whole career. Reading it out loud is the cheat code nobody wants to hear. If it sounds weird coming out of your mouth, it'll sound weird in someone's head too.
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