Had to pick between a full public ask and a private, direct message for a sensitive topic.

I needed advice on a family money issue last week and debated posting it here for everyone or just sending a private note to one user. I went public, got five really good replies that helped a lot, but my cousin saw it and got mad. What's your rule for deciding what to ask openly versus privately?

3 comments

3 Comments

averymartin1mo agoTop Commenter

Yeah, I used to think getting more opinions was always better, so I'd post things openly too. After a situation like yours where a coworker found a post, my whole view changed. Now if there's any chance it involves someone else's private business, I just send a direct message. It's not worth the fallout, even if you get fewer replies.

robinson.hannah1mo ago

Oh wow, your cousin actually saw it? That's my worst fear. I basically have a rule: if it names another person or could hurt someone's feelings, it's a private message every time. Money stuff with family is almost always in that category.

mary_foster921mo ago

Ugh, my friend's mom saw her vent about holiday costs in a group chat, total disaster.