My brother called me out on my "always busy" excuse and it stung

He straight up said I use being busy as a shield to avoid hard conversations. We were talking about why I never visit, and I rattled off work stuff and errands. He said "you always have time for what you actually want to do." That hit different because it's true. Has anyone else had someone point out a habit you didn't even see in yourself?

3 comments

3 Comments

river32029d ago

That hit me hard reading this. My best friend did the same thing to me about two years ago. I kept canceling plans because I was "swamped with work" and "life was crazy." She finally looked me in the eye and said, "You're not busy, you're just scared." And she was right. I was using the chaos of my schedule to avoid hanging out because I didn't want to face the fact that I felt distant from everyone. It took me a long time to unpack that, but it was the push I needed to actually start making real time for people. How did you feel after he said that to you?

mary_martin2229d ago

Call me crazy but honestly I think your brother might have been projecting a bit lol. People love to act like they've got you all figured out with these little armchair psychology moments. You could genuinely be busy with errands and work - life doesn't stop just because someone wants you to drop everything for a visit. I've had friends pull this on me before and it was more about them feeling neglected than me actually avoiding anything. Sometimes a full schedule is just a full schedule, not a secret avoidance tactic.

mark_mitchell29d ago

Flip it around though - maybe you weren't avoiding him, but protecting yourself from the guilt of always feeling like you should be doing more. That "always busy" label can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.