A patient's mom changed how I think about awkward silences

3 comments

3 Comments

Flip the script on them. Ask a question back. Like if they go quiet after you ask about their weekend, just say "Or am I getting too personal there?" with a little smile. It breaks the tension and gives them an easy out. I've learned silence is only awkward if you treat it like a problem. Sometimes people just need a second to think before they answer, you know? Let them have that time without trying to fill it with chatter. Your nervous energy is probably making it worse than it actually is.

alice8918d ago

Oh wow, I actually see this totally differently than you do @johnson.faith. No offense meant, but flipping the script with a little jab about "getting too personal" feels kinda like you're starting a game, not having a real conversation. Silence is uncomfortable for sure, but I'd rather just sit in it for a few seconds without making a joke about it. That move might work for some people, but it can also come off as passive aggressive if they're just thinking, you know? I think giving people space to answer without any pressure is better. Let them take their time, and if they never come back with a real answer, that's fine too. Sometimes quiet people just need a chance to warm up without feeling like they're being tested.

emery19915d ago

30% of people are natural processors who need silence to think, and @johnson.faith's method actually punishes them by making the silence about you instead of giving them the space they need. You're turning a normal pause into a test they didn't sign up for.