I finally learned why you don't wear shorts to a courthouse

Last month I had to go to the county courthouse in Birmingham for a traffic ticket. I showed up in shorts and a t-shirt cause it was 95 degrees out. The metal detector went off and this older bailiff made me empty my pockets in front of like 20 people waiting in line. I had a set of keys, a pocketknife I forgot about, a beat up tape measure, and a half-eaten granola bar crammed in there. The knife got me a whole lecture and they made me throw the granola bar away cause it was "unsealed food." Then I had to walk through the security gate again with everyone staring at my hairy legs. Has anyone else gotten humbled by a courthouse dress code or security check before?

2 comments

2 Comments

hayes.joel14d agoMost Upvoted

The courthouse humbling is real. I showed up to traffic court in basketball shorts and felt every single pair of eyes on my legs when they made me take off my belt and empty my pockets. That knife lecture probably had everyone in line judging you extra hard too. The granola bar thing is just petty though, they act like you're smuggling in a weapon with a Clif Bar.

the_simon14d ago

Wait, they gave you a full lecture over a knife and still let you go in with it? That's wild, I thought they'd just confiscate the thing and send you on your way. The granola bar thing cracks me up every time though, like what's the worst that's going to happen, you'll crumble it into a tiny pile of evidence? Next time I'm showing up in my pajama pants just to see if they make me change before the metal detector.