c/crazy-customer-stories

The guy who wanted a refund on his coffee because it was 'too hot' for the weather

I've been working at the same coffee shop in Portland for about eight years now, and the stuff customers say has really shifted. Back in the day, if someone got a hot drink, they expected it to be, well, hot. I remember one winter morning, a guy came in, got his black coffee, took a sip, and just said 'perfect' before heading out into the rain. Fast forward to last summer, and a customer hands me back his latte, says it's 'a solid 180 degrees' and demands a refund because it's '85 degrees outside' and the drink didn't match the 'ambient temperature.' We just stared at him. The manager ended up giving him a cold brew to make him leave, but it's a whole different kind of logic now. Has anyone else had customers try to use the weather as a reason a product is wrong?

A customer argued with me for 45 minutes over a 10 cent price difference on a bag of lemons.

He insisted our sign said $1.99, but it clearly said $2.09, and he made me get a manager and check the back room for a 'correct' sign. This whole thing happened during our Saturday morning rush. Has anyone else had a tiny price check turn into a huge ordeal?

A lady at my coffee shop tried to pay for her latte with a Chuck E. Cheese token

She was totally serious, holding it out like a quarter and saying 'this should cover it, right?' I had to explain it wasn't real money, and she got mad and said she'd been using them for weeks. Honestly, it made me wonder what other weird stuff people try to pass off as payment. Has anyone else had a customer try to pay with something totally not cash?

A guy at my old gas station job tried to pay with a handful of bottle caps

This was back in 2012 at the 24-hour spot off I-95. He was completely serious, and after that we started keeping a laminated sign at the register showing what real money looks like. Anyone else have a customer try to pay with something totally wild?

A customer told me my coffee was 'aggressively average' and I actually took it to heart

Honestly, I was just slinging lattes on autopilot at my cafe in Denver. This regular, Mark, paid for his drink, looked me dead in the eye, and said 'You know, this is aggressively average. It's not bad, it's just... nothing.' I started actually timing my shots to the second and weighing the milk for every single drink. Ngl, the difference was crazy. Has a piece of harsh customer feedback ever actually made you better at your job?

I just hit 500 customer complaints in my log book and I'm not sure what to feel

I work the front desk at a hotel in Tucson, and I started keeping a small notebook of the truly wild guest issues. I filled the last page yesterday and counted them up. It's exactly 500 entries over three years. Some are funny, like the man who insisted we had a secret floor, and some are just baffling. Has anyone else kept a record like this, and what did you do when you hit a big number?

Had a customer try to return a clearly used and broken coffee maker from 2018, claiming it 'just stopped working yesterday'.

A customer tried to return a half-eaten cake because it 'didn't taste like the picture'

This happened at the bakery I work at in Springfield just yesterday. A woman brought back a custom birthday cake with a huge slice missing and demanded a full refund. She said the vanilla buttercream didn't match the 'vibrant white' in the photo she showed us. My manager actually pulled out the order form where she'd written 'off-white cream' and pointed to it. The lady just huffed and left the cake on the counter. What's the weirdest return excuse you've ever gotten?

Worked a shift at the gas station and a guy tried to pay for a soda with a handful of loose screws.

He said it was 'good metal' and worth at least two dollars. I had to call my manager over, who just stared for a solid minute before saying no. What's the strangest thing someone's tried to use as money at your job?

Had a customer tell me my 'friendly' voice was fake and it messed me up for weeks

I work at a call center and a guy last month said, 'Stop with the customer service voice, it's insulting. Just talk normal.' I'd been using that higher, peppier tone for 3 years because my old manager said it sounded 'professional.' Now I just use my regular voice and my call times are actually shorter. But my boss says my surveys have more complaints about me sounding 'bored.' Do you think customers want the fake cheer or real bluntness? What would you change?

Can we talk about the guy who wanted a full refund because his pizza was round?

Last month at Tony's Pizzeria in Springfield, a customer named Mark ordered a large pepperoni. When I brought it out, he pointed at it and said, 'The menu picture shows a triangle slice, but this whole thing is a circle. I want my money back.' I tried to explain that's how we cut it, but he insisted the shape was false advertising. He stood there for 15 minutes until the manager gave him a $20 gift card just to leave. What's the weirdest reason someone has asked for a refund from you?

The lady who wanted a refund on a half-eaten pizza because it was 'too round'

This happened last Tuesday at the pizza place I work at part-time. A woman came in, slapped a pizza box on the counter, and demanded her money back. She said, and I quote, 'This pizza is too perfectly round. It looks fake and it ruined the whole experience for me.' I opened the box and, sure enough, the pizza was half gone. She'd eaten three slices! I tried to explain we couldn't refund food she'd mostly eaten, but she just kept going on about the 'unnatural circular symmetry' and how it made the cheese taste 'synthetic.' My manager finally came over and just gave her a five dollar coupon to get her to leave. Has anyone else had a customer fixate on the weirdest, most subjective detail to try and get free stuff?

Just had a guy try to return a half-eaten pizza because he 'didn't like the vibe'

I work at a pizza place downtown, and last night this dude comes in holding a box with maybe two slices left. He slams it on the counter and says he wants a full refund because the pizza 'gave off bad energy' and ruined his movie night. I'm not even joking, those were his exact words. Normally we'd just say no, but he was getting loud and starting to draw a crowd. So I tried something my manager told me about once: I agreed with him completely. I said, 'You know what, you're right, that's totally unacceptable. Let me make you a fresh one with better vibes, on the house.' I made a whole show of it, asking what toppings would improve the energy. He got so confused he just shut up, took the new pizza, and left. It cost us maybe $8 in ingredients to avoid a huge scene. Has anyone else found that just going along with the crazy sometimes is the fastest way to end it?

A mom at the grocery store checkout taught me a whole new thing about patience

I was behind this woman, Linda, with a full cart and her kid kept trying to scan a box of cereal over and over. Instead of getting mad, she just said, 'Okay, you have three tries to get the beep, then it's my turn.' It hit me that sometimes the crazy part isn't the customer, it's how we choose to handle the situation (or don't). Anyone else have a moment where a customer's calm reaction to chaos actually taught you something?

I just found out from a coworker that we've had the same guy try to return a dead houseplant for 3 years straight

He brings it in every spring claiming it 'didn't survive the winter' and wants a full refund. Has anyone else had a customer with a bizarrely persistent return policy demand?

Hot take: A client in Phoenix argued with me for 20 minutes that his new concrete patio should be 'sea foam green' because he saw it in a dream.

He brought a picture of a mint he'd sucked on as his color sample, and honestly, what do you even say to that?

A tenant tried to pay rent with a check drawn on a cereal box bank

This happened at a building I manage in Tacoma about two weeks ago. The guy handed me a check that looked normal at first, but the bank name was 'Kellogg's Corn Flakes Federal Trust'. He got really mad when I said I couldn't take it, yelling that money is a social construct anyway. I had to explain, very slowly, that a drawing of Tony the Tiger is not a valid routing number. Has anyone else had a tenant try to pay with fake money from a made up place?

Vent: My coworker said to never let a customer 'just look' at the back room...

She told me this last month after a guy at the hardware store asked to see our extra stock. I let him peek and he walked out with three Milwaukee drill kits worth over $600. We checked the cameras and he just put them in his coat while I was helping another person. Now I have to explain the loss to my manager. Has anyone else had a customer pull something like this after you bent a simple rule?

Warning: A simple tile color change turned into a three week project

A client in the new Willow Creek subdivision picked a standard subway tile for their kitchen backsplash, then changed their mind after the first box was up. They wanted a different white, a specific one called 'Alabaster Glow' from a different brand. Sounds easy, right? It took three weeks to get it right because the new tile was a different thickness, so all the old mortar had to be chipped off without damaging the drywall. Then the new tile's layout didn't match the old cuts around the outlets. Has anyone else had a small change blow up a timeline like that?